9:17 PM /
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
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Sometime I really wished my life was as smooth as a well polished window. Simple yet easy. There are so many things going on in my head now and I realised I have to block off all of them to focus on the tasks at hand.
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I want a nice whole family. Where my uncles and aunts actually get along with one another, Where my cousins and I can hang out without my relatives objecting, Where we can have one full portrait photo for the whole family unbroken, When you don't even need to hesitate when seeing them online on msn and openning up a conversation window.
(Space)
It's so hard to grapple with the fact sometimes, when it's a fact of life and you have to let go. I won't to believe it. I won't accept it as some spare change the counter drops you off. Life has to be easier for kids whose parents are so selfish.
11:16 PM /
Monday, December 7, 2009
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I took a stroll down a field today with God. It was nice and the tall grasses were soft to the hands. Gazing around just made me stand in awe of how much beauty He can create in such a short time of 7 days! Taking a moment, we continued our stroll and caught the sight of the sun setting. It was pretty cloudy but God assured me it was alright. "Like the seasons come and go, and leaves from this tree falling off in autumn, so must the Sun rise and set." He says. I felt so child-like now, much like a son in the presence of the Father. Then He said :"I'm going to give you something, would you wait for me?", and I said :"You're leaving?". He just smiled and walked away.
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As soon as the Sun set. giants started to rise up from all over the field. I counted 6 of them...and I started trembling. I knew from the bottom of my heart what they were capable of, and I knew I had no way of protecting myself. I was so fragile as I watched them approach me. My mind screamed at my voice to shout, but my voice yelled an air of nothing. Only the sound of the wind and footsteps of 12 filled my ears. Falling to my knees I cried out to God with tears and a trembling voice.. "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?"
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Then I heard a voice that spoke and said,
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"Much like David you are and my Grace is sufficient. I will deliver you. "
12:33 AM /
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Cloudy and Cold day today. Kind of set the mood to really just sit down and enjoy the weather instead of the usual hustle and bustle of life really. Had a strange hunger ping just now and decided in the end to just get to the kitchen and conjure something up. It's been a long time since i cooked for myself something anyway. A lil' pot and some boiling water, the 3 packets noodles never tasted so good. :)
Gotta settle the PPT slides by tomorrow. It seems procrastination is like an uncurable common cold that comes and goes doesn't it? :O I still feel rather jitterish over the coming sunday though. Never really led something like that before. Heck i never even dreamed of doing things like these at all! Let's see what God has in stored eh? Mhmm...
11:28 PM /
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
"You did Great!"
I never really thought a lil complimentry encouragement can actually go real real far. Makes you wonder what us guys have been doing lately right? Learn to use it more often, in the right context and moment. That's what i'll do. :)
Inevitable coming of the Common Test Week, finish up plannings, keeping event on track. I thought it was easy till i found it so hard to multi-task them all. I wanna run away! But i know it's just more of a blessing to God.
I'll fight on.
God make me strong.
Ps: It's not gay to say something nice to another guy alright...